The feelings can be very powerful and feel devastating. Luckily, there are things you can do that can help you cope and get you through this time.
You’ve lost a loved one. This person may have been in your daily life or they may be someone you talked to on a frequent basis. When a person like this dies, the world seems to come to a screeching halt. You may look out your window and want to scream to the people passing by that they need to stop what they are doing and realize what’s happened. You may feel like you cannot do anything, sitting nearly paralyzed waiting for it to “get better” at any moment. It doesn’t go away and you cannot change what is happening around you.
How Can You Go On?
When grief becomes so powerful that you cannot see the way through the next hour let alone your life, take a step back. Sometimes, the best way to deal with grief is simply to become active. Start slowly by doing some of the more simpler things from your daily routine as you normally did. It is not easy to do. Putting on “real” clothes and heading out the door seems impossible. Cry your way through it if you have to. To work towards healing, you need to get back to your daily routine.
Why is this so important to the healing process?
Even though you may need to change your routine, getting back to doing dishes, taking the kids to school, and living life is going to help you to feel better. The reason is simple. You have routines that feel comfortable to you.
By performing those routines, you gain some of that comfort again. The result is that you feel as though you can keep going. As soon as you take one step forward, it becomes easier to take the second, third, and fourth step.
Focus in on grief as a healing process. It hurts right now, but getting back to doing what you have to do can actually help you. You can’t fix what’s happened, but you can learn to create a new routine.
There are many healthy coping solutions that are important in resolving a loss. They can't take away our feelings of loss. They can, however, help to move forward in the healing process.
You don't have to go through bereavement alone. Goldencare Hospice and Palliative Care can help guide through that grief and pain into a beautiful story of hope and healing. Grief is not something that can be fixed or cured, but rather is proof that someone is missing a part of themselves. Grief is a normal response to loss but you can Love & Live your Way Through Grief to learn to find peace through it.
Learn to cope and carry on in your own, unique way. Even as the days and years pass, you're still going to think about and miss that person every single day, the pain just becomes part of you, and somewhere along the way you learn to accept it or live with it.
Embrace self-compassion. It's ok to feel this way. Give yourself permission to grieve the way you need to grieve.
Listen to your body and allow it to heal. It's going to be a long journey of ups and downs, but
Don't distract yourself from the pain by pushing it up or down. You can only distract yourself for so long.
Care for yourself in a loving way. Allow yourself to feel the pain and the sadness. Don't shut out the pain. Let yourself feel it. Face it head on. It's part of the healing process. You'll get a whole new perspective on life and on how strong you are.
Look to your faith as you might find comfort and meaning in religious services and ceremonies, quiet prayer or meditation, activities at your place of worship.
Talk to someone about what you are feeling. Goldencare Hospice & Palliative care has grief counselors and therapists who can really help you adjust to loss, and make you feel less alone during this time. It can be uncomfortable, but it's impactful. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness. It's a positive step in the healing process.
Keep a journal, if talking to someone makes you uncomfortable initially. When you miss your loved one, talk to them by writing it up in your journal.
Allow yourself to find some peace in the fact that they're in a better place and still with you. Sure they're gone physically, but their memories live close in your heart, the laughs, lessons and even the loss, have all contributed to the person you are and how you choose to live each day.
Their legacy and love lives on in you...this person is still with you because they are part of you...keep their memories close, carry on traditions they loved, and let them --their energy, love, and the essence of them--be the driving force behind the way you live and the person you are becoming.
Honor a lost loved one by finding the joy in life again. You have a Victorious Heart.
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